Annelise's Birth Story

*Disclaimer: This is a birth story. If reading details of birth is not for you, then I would encourage you to skip this post.


Although Annelise is my third child, the anticipation of her birth was no less exciting than my other two. In fact, I felt like I was giving birth for the very first time again. I had decided that this time around I wanted an all-natural birth, meaning no drugs and no augmentation as long as it was medically safe for the health of me and the baby.  For Parker, I wanted to try a natural birth, but I hadn't prepared for a natural birth. When the doctor offered induction at 40 weeks, I took the opportunity. If I had known what I know now, I would have declined and waited for him to come on his own. With the combination of my lack of preparation and what felt like a never ending contraction due to the Pitocin, I asked for pain medication when I was 8 cm dilated. With Ellis, I was induced because we lived far away from the hospital and I had a quick labor with Parker so they wanted to make sure I made it to the hospital in time. Going in I knew I wanted an epidural although I had a pretty quick delivery and still felt some pain because I didn't have enough time for the epidural to make the pain completely gone.
This time around I wanted an all natural birth. I had read stories of women giving birth without the use of drugs for pain management, so I knew it could be done. This time around I knew that I needed to prepare. Thankfully, I have a friend here at NOBTS that is also a doula that lent me some books to help Paul and me prepare. The closer I came to my due date the more confident I came in my ability to birth the way God intended. He had designed the female body to birth children, and I knew that I could do it. I wanted to have the experience of overcoming the difficulties and pain of labor. I wanted to find new confidence in myself and my inner strength.
At my 38 week check up, I was a good 3.5 to 4 cm dilated. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a while and they were getting stronger. The next day, Saturday, February 1, I started loosing my mucus plug. I know that loosing your mucus plug could still mean a couple weeks before labor to start, but I knew that for me it meant I was going to be having this baby soon. I frantically started cleaning my house, doing those last minute preparations, and shaving my legs. I started having strong contractions with the pain mostly in my back around 5 pm. They were 15-20 minutes apart. I took Parker and Ellis for a little walk for them to play at the playground in front of the apartment building that we used to live in on campus. By the time we got back home, I was tired and contracting so we went through the Taco Bell drive thru and picked up supper. Since the pain was mostly in my back, I spent some time leaning over a birth ball which made the pain easier. Paul was supposed to get off of work at 7, so I called him right at 7 to make sure he came straight home. I was ready for him to be home to help get the kids in bed. At that time my contractions were coming every 10-12 minutes. Once he was home, I spent some time walking up and down the stairs of our apartment building and around outside. I went to bed around 11 with my contractions around 10 minutes apart. I woke up around 1 AM and decided to take a shower. It ended up being a quick shower because my contractions were coming so close together. I knew we needed to get to the hospital. I told Paul to get up and get dressed. My contractions were coming around 3 minutes apart. I am so thankful that our neighbor came over while Parker and Ellis slept. We left for the hospital by 1:30 am. I was so glad that it was night and there was no traffic, but the stop lights....ohhh the stop lights. We made it to the hospital and I slowly but as quickly as I could made my way to labor and delivery. When I made it to the nurses desk, I got down on my hands and knees. I stayed that way and answered the questions they asked. I got into the wheelchair and signed the consent form at 2:12 am. I was so glad I had made it to the hospital. I felt like I had been holding my body back squeezing my legs together to make sure we made it there. I quickly ripped of my clothes, barely put on the lovely hospital gown, and crawled into the hospital bed. I was in the "I really don't care what's going on around me" stage of labor. I don't really know who was in the room. I just laid on my side and moaned through the contractions while Paul rubbed my back. I was 9 cm when they checked me. Everyone knew it wouldn't be long. Because I tested positive for Group B Strep, they quickly got a round of antibiotics in me. My membranes were still intact, and I was feeling so much pressure. Finally, they ruptured with a gush and that helped relieve a lot of the pressure. It wasn't many contractions after that and I felt the urge to push. No one told me when to push or how long to push. I didn't even make a conscience effort to push. My body just took over and did what it needed to do. With the first urge to push, out came the head, and the rest of her body came out with the next push. She was born at 2:47 am exactly 35 minutes after I had signed the consent papers. The whole experience was amazing, and I don't think the pain was that bad. Of course, the best part is the pain brings such a beautiful miracle. We spent some quality time snuggled together for awhile after. Then Paul went with her to the nursery while she got weighed and measured. She weighed 7 lbs. 5 oz. and was 18 1/4 inches long. We opted not to have the hospital to give her a bath, and shortly, she was back with me.
I am so in love with this precious little girl. Parker and Ellis are excited to have a little sister. Paul jokes that he has to get another gun now that he has a second daughter. It's so exciting that we are now a family of five.

So you know you're not alone

I've been terrible lately about keeping the house clean. The other day I opened the cabinet door and there was one, ONE cup left, and the only reason we had clean plates was because we had been eating off of paper plates. There were piles and piles of dirty dishes that had been waiting for days to be washed. My excuse was I am almost out of dish detergent, but really I just hate to wash dishes. There are times Most of the time I'm stepping on leftover bits of cereal, noodles, or other bits of leftover food from the day. Forget about the floor actually being mopped. Walking through the living room or the kid's rooms is like walking through a field of land mines.  There are only a few places where some kind of toy, blanket, book, clothing, or shoes aren't laying for you to place your foot. I can get clothes washed and dried, but put away is a whole other story.
It's terrible. I know that it makes life more chaotic and takes away from the home being a place of comfort and rest. I struggle with my own self-esteem. As a stay-at-home-mom, shouldn't I have everything perfectly organized and the kids on a perfect schedule so they never get bored and start acting out and destroying things?
Part of the reasoning behind the mess is it's just the season of life. With two little ones, there is bound to be mess. However, I have to take most of the blame here. The fact is I lack self-discipline or to put it bluntly, I'm lazy. I really am an organized person. I know you think I'm kidding you after reading all this, but it's true. I am also a perfectionist. Again, I'm not kidding. However, I have this flaw that keeps me from being perfectly organized. I have this "it's overwhelming, and it can't be perfect so I might as well throw in the towel and just let it all just go" mentality.
I'm bearing my flaws here, so if your in the same boat or a similar one, you can know you are not alone. There is another mama out there struggling. I would surmise that there are a lot of mamas out there that at the end of the day they are just proud that they kept the kids alive even if all the Pinterest boards and pins would suggest otherwise.

Feel free to leave a comment so I know I'm not alone.

In the span of about 15 minutes...

Ellis threw up all over Parker's floor. I clean up the chunky bits (I know the joys of motherhood) and spread baking soda over the floor. I put the dirty towel and clothes in the wash and vacuum up the baking soda. After vacuuming Parker yells that Ellis is outside. I run to go get her and about two feet from the door I step on something painful. I look down and there are bits of broken glass in the doorway with a piece stuck in my foot. I carefully pull out the piece in my foot, grab my flip flops by the door, and gingerly walk outside to retrieve Ellis. I lock her in her room with a baby gate. Then I administered first aid to my foot which, thankfully, was only minor. I swept  then vacuumed up the glass which turned out to be a lightbulb that Parker had gotten and dropped. I finished vacuuming up the baking soda and disinfecting the whole house. Yes, all this happened in approximately fifteen minutes! Yep, I took a nap this afternoon, and I didn't feel guilty about it one bit.

Handprints

Last night was a rough night for Ellis and therefore me as well. Ellis woke up just as I was getting ready for bed (I admit that it was really late like 1:30. I was waiting on Paul to go to bed.) She would not go back to sleep. She screamed and screamed when I put her back in her crib. I finally gave up and put her in the bed with me which meant I "slept" with Ellis on top of me practically all up on my head. At 3 am, I had enough of the uncomfortable sleeping condition and I put her back in her crib. Again, she screamed. I angrily told Paul, who had gotten some sleep during all this, "it's 3 o'clock and I haven't gotten any sleep if you don't want to hear her scream then you can go get her because I'm done." He groggily goes to get her and claims that she has a poopy diaper and angrily asks where all the diaper changing stuff is. So I angrily get up, get Ellis from him, get the diaper changing stuff, and change what turned out to be just a pee pee diaper. I hand her screaming back to him. Two minutes later he brings her into the room to try to get her to sleep in the bed with us. As he walks into the room, I angrily think to myself, "I know how this will go. I guess I will be sleeping with a baby on my face." Sure enough. Ellis ended up on me all nuzzled up on my face. At 4 o'clock, she was finally restful enough to lay her beside me in the bed to sleep. So, I got about 3 hours of sleep, but the kind of sleep where you feel like you are sitting on pins and needles because your nervous about the child in the bed with you.

You may be thinking, "what does this story have to do with handprints as the title suggests?" I said all that to understand the fatigued state this mama and her husband were in this morning. After feeding the kids, because you have to keep your children alive no matter how tired you are, I crawled back in bed. Paul got up and was taking care of the children. I don't know what happened the next couple hours, but at some point in time Paul came and crawled back in bed with me for a few minutes. Just a few minutes. That's when it happened because a few minutes later we had two precious children come in our room proudly showing off their colorful hands. Parker's hands looked like he had smacked a smurf and Ellis hands were black (although after further exploration, they were actually a deep purple). That's enough to spring a fatigued mama into action. I jumped up looked down the hall the finger paints looked untouched. I was just thinking, "did he get ahold of a marker and break it?" Then, it hit me. I let out a gasp and ran into the kitchen and found it. There lay a puddle of food coloring where four bottles of color had been emptied and mixed. Paul got to work on that clean up, and I put the kids in the bath tub really just to contain them to a single spot. After getting them in the bath, I noticed that Parker must have tried cleaning his hands off because my pretty hand towel had blue stains all over it. I got to work using the trusty rubbing alcohol to get the hand print marks off the walls. It really could have been worse. The hand prints were mostly contained to the bathroom and the sheets of our bed. For the most part the evidence has been wiped away, although a few marks still remain. I guess we are going to have to do a handprint art project so I can show the children the proper way to leave their mark.

Ellis's handprints on my bed. I was in panick mode so I didn't think to take pictures until I got to this.

Dear Ellis (a special first birthday letter)

My Precious Baby Girl,

What a joy it has been to have you in our lives this past year! I can't believe you a one. You should still be this tiny, cooing baby fresh and new in a brand new world. You have been a brand new challenge in parenthood. Not because you were a difficult baby because you weren't, but because I am now a mother of two. This brings all new fears. Will I love you just as much as I love Parker? How can my I have such a great love for both my children? Will there be room in my heart? I found out the answer is yes, and it wasn't hard to do. The day you were born my heart swelled with love for you, and it has only grown deeper and more expansive over this past year. I don't know how it happens; it just does. It has been incredible to watch you grow and mature into such a precious and full of personality little girl. I just melt as you play with my hair as you hug me and hold me tight. You love me so dearly. I love to snuggle with you although most of the time you are too busy exploring your world. You are curious and smart. I can foresee a life full of continuous learning in your future. You are so proud of yourself when you accomplish a new milestone. And you should be! You are a very determined little girl. I pray that as you continue to grow that you would develope a great love for our Savior. I pray that the meaning of your name "The Lord is God reigns" will be true in your life. I don't know what your future holds, but I do know that we have committed your life to the Lord. When the time comes that you understand what Jesus Christ has done for you, our prayer is for you commit yourself to Him and grow into a deep and intimate relationship with Him. As much and your Dad and I love, Jesus Christ loves you even more. We are so proud of you! Thank you for being such a wonderful daughter.

Love,

Mama

Ellis at 11 Months

Since my baby girl will be turning one in 2 days, I thought I better write her 11 month post. But before I do that, allow me to freak out a bit that my baby girl is turning one in 2 DAYS! 2 DAYS! and my baby girl will be TURNING ONE! Ok, I got that off my chest.

Ellis is growing and developing by leaps and bounds. I can't even blink or I'll miss something.

• Stats: 17 lbs 1.5 oz! She packed on 28 ounces in 21 days at the beginning of the month which put her back on the growth curve. Yay for the 5th percentile. She has been packing on the weight since then so I'm curious to see what she will be at her 12 month check up.
• She can now pull up like at pro. At first, she could get her self up, but she was scared to drop back down. She would fuss and I would come save her. She finally got the hang of it and can pull up and sit down without problems.
• She has been crusing around the furniture. She will also walk behind her push walker thingy. I'm sure it won't be long and she'll be walking. I have to admit that makes me kinda sad. She's growing up.
• She has stood up, completely on her own, out in the middle of the floor for a few seconds one time. I freaked out when I saw her do it. She often will stop in the middle of crawling and push her butt in the air like she wants to stand up.
• She now says mama, dada, baby, kitty (she says it in a very high pitched voice and the t sounds aren't completely distinct, but you know that's what she's saying), nigh nigh (night night). I have heard her say no copying Parker. Her brother is already causing trouble! Haha!
• She likes to copy sounds we make. I would write them out but it's kinda hard to translate silly sounds into words.
• She will occasionally blow kisses. She will hold her hand on her mouth and blow out to where it makes a kinda pooting sound. I know that doesn't sound cute but like I said it's hard to put sounds into words.
• She will play Peek-a-boo and she will cover up her eyes and go "peee" in a squealy voice.
• She still only has her bottom 2 teeth, but her top gums are so swollen. Maybe soon those top teeth will finally make their appearance.
• She spooks really easily. For instance, at Chick-fil-a one day, the cow came around and she freaked out.  Another time, she was around a cat that was the "I'm friendly, but I could bite you without a moment's notice" type. After rubbing around her stroller, it stretched up to get closer to her and she freaked out. I can foresee Halloween being terrifying for her.
• She likes to put things inside of things while playing like she likes to put balls inside cups.
• She really enjoys eating table food. I have to watch her to make sure she doesn't put too much in at one time. Although when she's full, she'll start tossing food overboard.
• She likes to nod her head but when she does she also lifts her eyebrows. It's too cute.
• She can get a little attitude with you if you take something from her that she really wants!
• When she's waiting on her food, she will squeal to let you know to hurry up.
• She sleeps with her butt up in the air. Again, so cute!
• She is making the transition to one nap much to my dismay. There are days where she will still take 2 naps, but most day now she only takes one.
• She loves to play in Parker's room. Sometimes this means arguments between her and Parker when she gets into something that he's playing with.
• She is so smiley and laughs very easily. She gives good hugs and kisses and is just oh so lovable!

Of course I may be a little biased when I saw this but she is just the most precious little girl ever! She continues to bring so much joy into our lives. I don't know how it is possible but I love her more every day.

How Shoe Licking Teaches Me a Lesson in Parenting

For snack time today, Parker and I had leftover pancakes. I fixed his plate and put it on the counter. We were fixing to put our shoes on to go outside so they were nearby. I was already getting my shoes on when I looked up to see Parker place one of his shoes smack dab on top of his syrupy pancakes (He didn't mean to. Since eye level for him is just below the countertop, he really couldn't see the plate.) Then, in horror I watched him look at the bottom of his shoe and lick it. Yes, lick the bottom of a shoe that has been on a toddler foot that has been who knows where! I quickly ran over to him screaming "NOOOOO!!!!" and got the shoe just before he took a second lick. Apparently, syrup is very important to him and he didn't want to waste one drop.
This little incident made me start thinking about how important it is to teach our children. As an adult, I know that licking the bottom of a shoe is gross, possibly dangerous, and just not socially acceptable. However, Parker sees that shoe as something that goes on your foot that has cool sports balls that light up when he walks, and apparently, an eating utensil. I know that licking the bottom of his shoe, while gross, is not all that bad. But, it made me think about how important it is for me to teach my children the ways of the Lord. There is a lot of scripture on this matter. Children just don't know the things they need to know. We have to teach them. We have to teach them the Truth of God's Word. They can learn things from others, but as their parents, we have the most influence on them. The shoe licking incident made me realize that I need to be more diligent about using every moment to teach the Truth, the only Truth, to these precious little beings that God has allowed me the privilege to raise as my own even though they really don't belong to me; they are His. I love how God uses random little things to teach us.

Funny Follow-up

After posting the previous post, Guilt No More, I logged onto Facebook only to see someone post a link to the following article from thegospelcoalition.org (click on the link to take you to the original article for credits). I thought it would be a fitting follow-up to my post.

How Much Is a Homemaker Worth?

The Story: A study conducted by the financial service company Mint found that the sum value of different homemaking duties annually amounts to almost six figures. If a homemaker's job were salaried, it would draw, on average, $96,291 per year. Tasks accounted for in the study included private chef, house cleaner, child care provider, driver, and laundry service provider.
The Background: There's no escaping the fact that contemporary society often scoffs at stay-at-home moms. "This isn't the 1950s anymore," the thinking goes. "Why in the world would someone want to be imprisoned in her own home?" The common idea, of course, is that many responsibilities on the home front should be outsourced, thus releasing moms from domestic shackles to realize their vocational dreams. While such a mindset isn't automatically wrongheaded in every case, it can frequently betray a prioritization that is biblically questionable.
Why It Matters: Proverbs 14:1 states: "The wise woman builds her house." While the monetary value and practical feasibility of full-time homemaking may vary from home to home, what remains constant is the irreplaceable significance of a homemaker's contributions. The Mint article concludes, "The daily work of a homemaker can sometimes be taken for granted....However, these services could earn a homemaker a considerable wage if he or she took those skills to the marketplace. Homemakers, in general, contribute a lot more to the home in addition to these tasks and no amount of money can fill those needs."
Indeed, no study could ever fully quantify the service of a mother who "looks well to the ways of her household" (Prov. 31:27). At the very least, this research should prompt us to express fresh appreciation to those stay-at-home moms whom we love and who, though receiving little recognition in the eyes of the world, are faithful and treasured in the eyes of their King.

Guilt No More

     I have to admit that I've often felt guilty about being a stay at home mom (SAHM). I've had thoughts of inadequacy that have led me to think that maybe our family would be better off if I went back to teaching. I feel that I've put a lot a pressure on my husband as he is the sole provider of income for our family. When I look at the small amount of money in our checking account, the house full of hand-me-down furniture, the one car parked in our carport, I often think that if only I wasn't a SAHM then I could fix these "problems." Then on a spiritual level, I feel that I'm not making enough of an impact on the lost world around me because I'm just sitting at home all day with 2 kids and a dirty house.
     I was thinking about these things yesterday as I was doing my daily chores when I felt the Lord say to me, "don't forget I CALLED you to this." I had forgotten. I had forgotten that when the Lord calls us to something He provides. He has taken care of us on one income. We have never gone hungry, unclothed, and unsheltered. In fact when I look at our finances, I'm always reminded that God is the one who carries us day to day. He really is the sole provider of this family. Yes, we aren't living the "American dream" with a house that has 3 times more space than we really need filled with name brand stuff with 3 cars parked in a 3 car garage when only 2 people in the house can drive. But we are living a dream bigger than all the money in the world can provide.
     God reminded me that I am making an impact on this lost world around me. The early years of a child's life are the most crucial in developing a Godly world view in that child's life. Since I'm at home with the children and I plan on homeschooling, then I have a major responsibility in discipling my children into people who love Christ with their whole being who are not afraid to live a radical life following Him. I'm discipling my children so that as they grow older they will in turn reach out to the lost world. I AM making an impact on the lost world.
     All this boils down to where our treasures lie. If I keep my focus on things of God, then everything falls into proper perspective. When my time on earth is over, it won't matter about how much money we had or how much nice stuff we owned. Therefore, I will no longer feel guilty. (Well, at least I will do my best. It will be a constant battle of the flesh to overcome.) God has called me to be a SAHM and to help support my husband in ministry. I wouldn't have it any other way. God is so good. He's so good to me.

[Note: If you are not a SAHM, please don't take what I said to be that every woman should be a SAHM. That just isn't so. As long as you are doing what God called you to do, then you have nothing to worry about. May God bless you and your family in whatever role He has called you to.]