Dear Mouse

Dear Mouse (I'm hoping that there is only one of you, but if there is more this letter is for you too),

You are not welcome in our home. I had to put on my big girl panies and spend the whole afternoon cleaning up your disgusting poop and pee thanks to your teeny bladder and intestinal track. Seriously, get control of yourself. I don't appreciate you leaving your disease-filled poop behind as you explore OUR home, especially in my kitchen. I am declaring war on you. You will leave this home either voluntarily or in a mouse trap. If you are wise, you will pick the former. We will find your secret passage ways and block them off, so you better get out tonight. Oh and you better not be making no mice babies in this house. You better start watching your back because we are going to borrow my sister's cat, and I hear she's a little hungry. You can't say I did not warn you. After all the work I did today cleaning up your mess when I had other stuff to do, I better not find any more droppings around when I get up in the morning. I probably used a whole tree worth of paper towels cleaning up after you, and if you knew me, you would know that I rarely use paper towels in order to save money and live a little more green. Speaking of living green, I had to throw away recyclables that I had been saving to take off just in case you had investigated them too. I also had to run the dishwasher several times and wash boogoodles of dishes and things. And while I was doing all this I let my oldest child sit in front of the TV and watch movie after movie so now his brain is going to turn to mush. Even my youngest child sat and watched some TV when she woke up from her nap so now I'll have two children with mushy brains. Then because my kitchen was in complete disarray, I had to fix supper using only the microwave which meant we ate canned food. And if you knew me, you would know that we rarely eat canned food because it's just not healthy. What a pain you have been! You will feel pain if you don't get out. Again, you are not welcome here!


Sincerely,

Your Worst Nightmare

P.S. We've already taken care of (and by that I mean exterminated) two of your kin folk. Nanananabooboo!