$5,000 a Week Forever

I saw a commercial for a Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes to win $5,000 a week forever. That sounds really nice, so I went online and filled out an entry. The odds of winning are like 1 in a billion something, so if we win it will totally be a God thing. Of course, if the odds were 1 in 2 it would still be a God thing.
Anyway, to the point of this post. After I filled out the entry, I started thinking about what I would do if we won. My first thought would be that Paul wouldn't have to work while he was at seminary, so he could totally focus on his studies and still have lots of family time. My second thought was we would be able to do so much to bless other people.
I have been thinking a lot lately about how God has been changing me and molding me more toward becoming like Christ over the past year and a half. I was thinking about those thoughts I had about winning the PCH sweepstakes, and it hit me how much God has been teaching me to completely trust Him.
 A year or so ago my thoughts would have been to save a lot of that money to create a nice security blanket for emergencies. I would have thought about how we could afford to have a second car again...a brand new car. I would have thought that I could replace our old, hand me down furniture with pieces that actually matched and that I could pick out from the thousands of options out there. But most of all I could feel secure.
As I was contrasting my thoughts, I was just so humbled that I had to retreat to my room and cry. Cry tears of shame, sorrow, joy, and peace. My Savior loves me so much that He walked hand and hand with me through some of the toughest, most confusing times of my life in order to teach me that He is all that I need, that He is the only security there is. I think about the line in "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" that says "and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." Oh, how true those words spring up from my soul! There is nothing in this world that satisfies me like Jesus...especially the financial security that I had long craved. I KNOW that God will take care of us and the way He does that may not be easy but it will always be good and perfect.
Whether we win or not doesn't matter. I just love that God is all that I need, and now I know that in the deepest part of my soul.